As I get older, and my general anxiety is more prevalent (in certain situations), so is my experience with white coat syndrome. My heart pounds while I’m in the waiting room (and then while I’m waiting for what feels like eons on the examination table). Half the time, it’s a miracle that my blood pressure isn’t through the roof.
So why is this top of mind this week? Well, my mammogram is on Friday, and I’m growing more anxious as the days go by. Not for the actual torture of the test, but I’m anxious about the results.
My paternal grandmother had breast cancer. And when I was younger I had to get a breast ultrasound because of a scare. Turns out I have dense breast tissue. But it’s always in the back of my mind.
To make matters more tense, I’m not very good at self exams. That is, I don’t do them consistently and then when I do, I’m like, is this what they normally feel like?? I can’t remember from month to month. I need to get better about this. Take notes, draw a map, etc.
Due to having dense breast tissue, and my family history, my doctor suggested also getting a routine ultrasound at the same time as my mammogram and I agreed, for my peace of mind. But in the lead up, I’m certainly not at peace.
And the constant notifications from my provider this past week (one for each of the two appointments, reminder texts and check-in texts and emails) are NOT helping! Stop! I know!!
I’m getting anxious just writing this post. On Friday morning, while I drive across town, my anxiety will rule my mind. I will try to do deep breathing. Hopefully it helps.
Maybe by next Monday I’ll know the results. And fingers crossed that they’re good.
Do you get white coat syndrome?
Photo by Hush Naidoo Jade Photography on Unsplash